On Friday, September 21st, I like many other technology enthusiasts waited excitedly in my office with the UPS tracking website open for the delivery of my pre-ordered iPhone 5. It arrived just after 3pm and I wasted no time in setting it up and installing all the apps I’d already become accustomed to on my iPad 3. As I sat at my desk and enjoyed Apple’s latest phenomenon, a silly but amusing idea came to me. “I wonder,” I thought, ” if there really is a ‘Xooplay Bumps in the Night’ sex app as pathalogical lying sociopath and convicted felon Andy Esquivel continues to claim.”
We are all by now quite familiar with Xooplay, as Andy repeatedly reminds us that it’s the next big thing, that it has numerous investors, and that the world is singing the app’s praises. We’ve even been treated to two separate (although very cheesy) demonstrations of the app with crude graphics that look like they were drawn in crayon by a six year old child. [Video #1, Video #2]
So, thinking that just this once some portion of the hype might turn out to be true, I hit the search box in the app store on my new iPhone 5 and typed in “Xooplay.” To my shock and surprise, there was nothing available! I then did a separate search for “Bumps in the night” and discovered a cute little Halloween app, but nothing by Xooplay, or Wiser Technology, or any other company that Andy has claimed to represent. Finally in desperation, I typed in Xtagged and again no dice!
Note: I did not try the same thing on Android because Andy currently claims to be suing Google and has started a “Die Google Die!” campaign to further his anti-Google cause. I figured Andy wouldn’t support Google by creating apps on a platform he despises.
Since I know a little bit about the technology indistry, I decided to take a little initiative and contacted Apple’s iOS developer support team – the folks who are responsible for helping developers create new software for iOS and who ensure that the content meets to Apple’s high standards. The iOS folks were cool, but when I explained what I was looking for and described Andy’s Xooplay app to them in detail, they made it very clear to me that (1) neither Xooplay, Wiser Technology, Andy Esquivel, Steve Klemark, Shar Jenkins nor anyone else I could name who is even remotely associated with Andy’s various online scams has ever applied for an Apple developer’s license, and that (2) Apple would never approve such an app because it would violate Apple’s well publicized ban on sexual content in the app store. In other words Andy is, as usual, completely full of crap.
What makes this psychopath continue to create fake products with goofy names as fronts for imaginary companies that continue to rip off investors? Why does Andy bother? Why doesn’t he just get a real job and stop mooching off of morons like Allen Brady and Shar Jenkins?
We may never know what motivates sociopaths like Andy Esquivel to waste so much energy trying to convince the world that they’re productive instead of actually being productive, but at least we can enjoy watching him answer for his crimes on or before October 24th. My guess is Andy will plead guilty to the felony securities fraud charges pending against him by mid October and this will all be over.