Posted on June 22, 2012 in Andy's Videos
Here are Andy’s newest videos. These brainless rants were forwarded to so called “supporters” over the last few weeks and came to us because of a ‘fatal flaw’ in Digital Internet DNA technology which we were able to discover with the help of friends we have inside the CIA.
The first video is Andy Esquivel showing off many of his very fake products. It’s actually quite hilarious! Among the “inventions” he displays are the ridiculous “car cover” which is really a length of bubble wrap with an orange rope threaded through it. Noticably absent is the black 2012 Hyundai Veloster anti-spy wrap which Andy took a picture of and claimed was a prototype undergoign high-speed testing in Arizona.
Andy also displays an aluminum water bottle with a Buzz/Wiser sticker on it (the only one of it’s kind in the world). Once again absent is a sample ‘case’ of the energy drink which Andy claims to have sold thousands of. Notice how Andy keeps the water bottle in a protective case. This is to protect the only example of this fake energy drink every produced.
Andy also spends some time showing off the Samsung Galaxy tablet he purchased because he couldn’t afford an iPad. This time he doesn’t bother to don the magic fingernail polish however to show off the touchless typing capability.
Finally Andy shows off the e-cigarettes he bought in bulk from China and had private labeled. Again absent are the laser attachments which Andy pretended to have displayed at a grand launch in a casino with the imaginary supporter “Gary Thebus” looking on in amazement.
The second video is Andy trying to explain how a fight in Bountiful (which he plead guilty to disorderly conduct charges for) was actually part of a grand conspiracy theory involving shady characters in the Davis county government, or the FBI or something like that. It’s pretty funny too, especially the part where Andy claims he is too good to pay for his own bail and so was morally compelled to have Ron Kelsay and Alan Brady pay it for him.
Andy’s a pretty funny guy, but even funnier are brainless minions like Alan Brady and Ron Kelsay who follow him around as if he were Jim Jones. Hopefully Andy keeps posting videos like this because they’re helping prove what an idiot he is. Soon felony fraud charges will also show the world what a con he is on top of it.
Posted on January 3, 2012 in Andy's Videos
This is one of my favorites because it shows how transparent Andy’s scams can be. In this video, Andy has purchased a new Samsung Galaxy slate and tries to pass it off as a new Wiser product.
First (at :34) Andy asks you to notice that there are only fingerprints on half of his screen (like most slates) and he says “there’s a reason for that.” The ‘reason’ has NOTHING to do with the fact that the touch keyboard on most slates when holding them in profile mode only covers that portion of the screen…that would be too obvious. Andy instead claims that the reason for the fingerprint position is his new black fingernail polish which he uses to control the screen.
Here’s where it gets HILARIOUS!!! Andy brings up a slide-show of his daughter using built in photo player and begins waving his finger back and forth across the screen to make anyone with an IQ too low to know better think that he’s controlling the shifting image with his finger.
Andy claims that this new “invention” will make it unnecessary to ‘type’ on the Wiser Page (Samsung Galaxy) screen…which even if the whole demonstration weren’t completely bogus, would be a stupid product idea! Imaging, all you have to do is twinkle your fingers over the slate screen like a gay man (no offense to my homosexual friends) to type on the screen? Yea, that makes sense! How do I make sure I hit the right key? Um…
Next Andy pitches a revolutionary new Velcro strap custom made for Wiser Technology (you can see the Velcro professionally attached to the back of the Galaxy tablet earlier in the show) and tries to explain why it’s more revolutionary than…a Velcro strap.
Finally Andy shows off his daughter with the Wiser strap, pad, thing and claims they have exercise software manufacturers working on apps for doing crunches. I still can’t figure out how an Android app would help you do crunches, but… Apparently the Wiser Pad is going to be larger than the Samsung Galaxy tablet, even though it IS a Samsung Galaxy tablet, so you can fit a full keyboard, which the Galaxy already has.
All proceeds from the $15 Velcro strap will go towards Andy’s fake Karma Cause charity, which is very reassuring. Andy then tries to explain where the $499 for the Wiser Pad will go, but I guess his battery ran out first.